Day 2

Fasting.....

Or should I say fattening.....I did sooo horrible yesterday. I was soo mad at myself, how could I be so weak??? My friend came and got me for lunch and I just couldn't bring myself to say no its OK I already ate, instead I did the worst thing I could to my body and had waffle fries and some of his Gyro, then I came home and my room mate got pizza and milk shakes....At that moment I realized God hates me!! So needless to say I spent the whole afternoon then again at night purging...Not proud of myself. Why didn't I have the strength to stick to my plan. Its sooo easy to maintain control when I'm alone or its the weekend, but for some reason during the week is harder, mainly due to work lunches...Why God Why

I couldn't even POST yesterday, I was soo disappointed with myself and can't imagine how the world sees me now. Yes I can! I can see everyone standing around pointing at me, whispering, "Yeah, that's her, the FAT one...No self control, why do you think her husband hates her. "Ewww, gross....Did you see her thighs" "Just the sight of her makes me feel sick!"........As the whispering continues...

So last night/this morning laying in bed thinking about my failure....Only makes me try that much harder today!!

I read everyone's posts wishing I was them. Seeing their weight, their waist size....

What did I do that was so wrong?????

WILL BE STRONGER TOMORROW, WILL NOT GIVE IN TO FOOD!

DAY 1 TAKE 2...STARTS TOMORROW!!! 5 Days I can do this =)